Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Make the Yuletide Gay...

HO HO HO, BITCHES! Terribly sorry for the major journal neglect; but to make it up for you we're gonna have a super special holiday...thing! YAY THINGS! *ahem* Anywho, to celebrate Christmas, for the next week we'll be checking out some of the....lovely Santas we have hiding around my home. I swear it'll be more fun than it sounds. Really. Ready? Let's go!

This first little guy was a gift we received about 12 years ago or so. While taking a picture of him, I noticed the battery pack and suddenly had flashbacks, not unlike those of a Vietnam veteran, of how he used to sing. Constantly. There was no on/off switch, and my mother was insistent about keeping his batteries in. Thusly, every time one would walk past him, he'd belt out a horrible medly of Christmas ditties, with joyous HO HO HO!s in between. He'd even go off with no help, sometimes. It's really not all that surprising that I had blocked this from my memory...

Anyway, upon seeing him the initial reaction is usually either "Aww, how cute!" or "Eww, how tacky!" I pretty much agree with both of these statements. But dammit, it's the holidays! Holiday time is tacky time! If you're more observant, one of your next reactions would probably be "WHERE THE HELL ARE HIS EYES?!"

...let's take a closer look, shall we?

Freaky, ain't it? So why doesn't this little Santa have eyeballs? Having seen him fresh out of his box so many years ago, I can tell you that they were never there. At the tender age of seven(ish), I can definitely recall being creeped out by Santa's anomaly. I immediately pushed up his little hat, scrunched down his nose.....and nothing. No tiny Santa peepers were rattling around loose in the box, either.

I really don't know if it was done on purpose or if it was just some sort of factory screwup, but for whatever reason our little Santa was just meant to be blind. Which may not necessarily be a bad least he doesn't have to look at that tacky wreath he's attached to!

So that concludes our first day of screwy Santas! Stay tuned tomorrow, when you'll get to meet Lobotomy Letterbox Santa! Oh boy!

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